It's been awhile...

It has definitely been awhile since I've updated this blog, to the point that I'm fairly certain that no-one reads this anymore.  That said, I have things in my head that I need to talk through, so cyberspace gets to be my listening ear this morning:).
Big changes are coming in our lives this week!  We've been licensed foster parents for about 8 months, and had one placement that, to be honest, was a big struggle.  We actually took ourselves off the foster parent list after that one last fall, trying to figure out what it was that God wanted us to do and how it could work without tearing our family apart like that placement threatened to do.  We've done one overnight respite, but otherwise haven't done anything with foster care since last fall.  Things were seeming to be pretty calm, and definitely feeling comfortable.  Then last Tuesday I got a text from Rhonda:  "Just got a call about 2 kids.  Looking for what will likely be a forever home.  Got lots of info.  Pray now, call me later when you can or we'll chat when you get home."

Whoa.  What?  Needless to say I was a wee bit surprised.  But, we'd been praying that God would lead us, so maybe this is just that?  More information revealed an almost 7 y.o. boy, A, and an almost 5 y.o. girl, B.  Girl!  Not sure we know what to do with those...  Both are currently in a kinship placement (family friend) who has come to the decision that she can't continue to raise them as she's recently gone through a divorce and just can't financially do it anymore.  They've been with her a year almost.  Parental rights are scheduled to be terminated in March, and if that does happen (pretty high percentage it will according to the caseworker) then they will be planning on adoption as the permanency goal.
So we spent a day thinking, praying, and talking about this development.  We already have 4 boys, so that would mean 6 kids all of a sudden.  They are too old to share a room, so we'd have to figure out a bedroom arrangement too.  Our van holds 8, but is getting tight as our kids get larger.  So many questions and things to consider...  We figured we can move the bio kids all into the addition, it's plenty big for that, but does mean sacrificing some personal space for our older two especially, and while they are willing, they're not 100% happy about it, just being honest.  Come to think of it, I'm not 100% happy that my calm and easy life will change either.  But I also know that God hasn't called me to a calm and easy life!  I don't know what exactly is going to change, and that causes some anxiety for me.  I haven't slept really well this week, which is odd for me.  Makes me think of A and B, and how much anxiety and fear this planned move is causing for them.
My emotions through all of this have been interesting.  Last week I was just really excited, and thankful that God was opening my heart up to more kiddos.  This week I'm anxious and nervous.  Not backing out type anxious, but just wondering how things are going to go.  How long will it take until them can relax at our house?  How long will it take us all to adjust to being a family of 8?  Will it work out long term?  I don't know that my family can take another situation like last time.  I'm just praying a lot right now, and I guess that's exactly where God wants me, and all of us right?  Reminds me of the lesson I taught at youth group a couple weeks ago - 2 Chronicles 20:12b "We do not know what to do, but we are looking to you for help."  We've already talked about God's timing and hope to have more to share about how God has increased our family and continues to bless us, but right now just pray that this Friday at 4pm things go ok:)