2.5 months and counting

It's been awhile since I've updated this blog, and probably time to get some news out to all the 3-6 people that actually read this blog!  Most days right now we're just getting through the day, so finding time to update blogs is tricky!  However, testing season at work means I have more down time for a few days, so this is a good time!
We are now about 2.5 months into our family growing by 25%!  It feels shorter than that to me most days, but things are slowly starting to feel more "normal" having 2 extra kiddos around.  A has seemed to have an easier time, at least so far, adjusting to life in our family.  We do continue to see signs that all is not going so easy inside his heart, as little things pop up that remind us of the trauma he's been through.  Some days it's apparent that he's doing a lot of self managing, trying to do the right thing and not lash out like he wants to.  Just yesterday we discovered that not everyone is very kind to him at school, and some of the kids are downright mean, which is hard to hear.  Maybe it's because he came most of the way through the year, when friends were already established, or maybe  it's because he looks different, or maybe he's just having a hard time with knowing how to relate socially... At home things seem to be getting better, our bio boys are beginning to accept our new kids slowly, and interactions are getting easier for most of them.  Ours is a house with lots of activity, and A loves to play basketball, ride bikes, throw a football, or play frisbee.  B, on the other hand, is a girl.  What in the world do we do with a girl?  Talk about a total life change!  She has been having a bit more difficulty adjusting lately, having fits every couple of days about things like not wanting to be kind.  She seldom can do an activity by herself for more than 2 minutes, and shows signs that it's either ADD or trauma that has her brain going a mile a second.  She can be very sweet and kind, and we're praying that we start to see more of that side, and less of the other!  She likes time with people, loves to play go fish and uno, and like her brother has beautiful soft brown curls and a big smile.  She loves to bike, and I'm sure will enjoy getting her training wheels off this summer and riding for real!
If there was a specific prayer request, I'd ask that you pray for our biological boys to open their hearts up to these two.  It's a process of course, and our last foster care experience was certainly not easy, and made for more of a struggle to trust.  However, we're hoping this one is permanent, and treating it as such, and hope our boys will open up to that.  I have to stop and remember how difficult it is to add a brother and sister who are not biological, all at once, and just make them be part of the family, so I try to give grace when it comes to this.
In terms of the process, the kids are foster care, but the Termination of Parental Rights hearing has occurred and the judge said she was signing it.  How long that takes, I have no idea, but it is moving in the direction of adoption:).  Thanks for your thoughts, prayers, and love for our family!  Keep praying that we are able to keep saving and locate a good deal on a bigger family car too, that seems to be becoming a necessity!

Update

So tomorrow has been two weeks since our family has grown by 25%.  I figured I should probably try to give a little bit of an update, even though I don't know just how many (or few) people are even looking at this blog anymore.  Maybe it's just Garrett and Nancy and I!  Maybe this blog is mostly for me...
Either way, A and B have been with us for a couple of weeks, and we're learning each other every day.  They're definitely full of energy and life, and I've played more Old Maid in the last two weeks than ever before in my life!  It's a wee bit crazy in our house for sure at this point, but there is also a lot more human interaction going on than before.  I have to be more involved in life now, and that's also a pretty good thing.  I can't come home and just sit on the couch and talk to my kids anymore, I need to be playing a game or engaging someone a lot more, which is tiring but good:).  A eats like a horse, almost rivaling his oldest brothers in what he can put away, as long as it's not vegetables!  (still working on those, neither has a lot of experience with veggies so far!).  B also puts away the food, and we're definitely going to need to up our food budget to make this continue to work!  Bedtimes are a good time for us to connect, cuddle, and show the kids we love them, but they usually take two of us.  Having their own bedrooms is a really good thing, it makes night time much easier to manage and allows for some one on one time.  A and I are working on reading both superhero books and his new Bible from church, and it's fun to share stories with him that he's never heard before.  Both kids love to help Rhonda cook, and we are working on taking turns at that.  A is pretty coordinated and rides his two wheeler well, while B is still waiting for us to get her a two wheeler with training wheels so she can get going too!  Outside play time is a must each day, and again we're thankful for the house we bought, with three acres to play in and lots of nature to learn about!
Life has not been without it's challenges of course.  Veggies at dinner isn't always an easy process, and has resulted in a couple of nights of frustration.  Being the youngest in the house also means that they go to bed earliest, and sometimes A isn't happy about being younger.  Our bio boys are at times getting worn out with all the requests to play games, etc., and sometimes need a break.  It's just such a change that I think all of us are relieved once 7:30PM comes and the new kids are in bed, and we can rest a bit!  Little B is used to doing some whining it seems, and so we're working on that as neither of us is really excited about whining:).
I told the youth Sunday School class last week that one thing God is really teaching me right now through this experience is just how selfish I am at my core.  I've been seeing how much I want my time to be mine, and how hard it is for me to just love on a child that I didn't have a hand in making.  I'm finding I really need to keep praying and asking God for patience, or maybe a "bear" (2 Kings 2) just kidding (read it if you don't know it!).  God has been faithful, and I have been able to do a much better job this time around being loving and practicing all the attachment techniques we've been learning through the Empowered to Connect conferences.
All said, I think Rhonda and I are both glad that this time around foster care is going better than last time.  It helps that last time was so difficult that we came into this time with REALLY low expectations!  It won't all be perfect, and isn't at all perfect now, but we're working on blending together to become a happy family of 8!  Now to find a bigger vehicle...

It's been awhile...

It has definitely been awhile since I've updated this blog, to the point that I'm fairly certain that no-one reads this anymore.  That said, I have things in my head that I need to talk through, so cyberspace gets to be my listening ear this morning:).
Big changes are coming in our lives this week!  We've been licensed foster parents for about 8 months, and had one placement that, to be honest, was a big struggle.  We actually took ourselves off the foster parent list after that one last fall, trying to figure out what it was that God wanted us to do and how it could work without tearing our family apart like that placement threatened to do.  We've done one overnight respite, but otherwise haven't done anything with foster care since last fall.  Things were seeming to be pretty calm, and definitely feeling comfortable.  Then last Tuesday I got a text from Rhonda:  "Just got a call about 2 kids.  Looking for what will likely be a forever home.  Got lots of info.  Pray now, call me later when you can or we'll chat when you get home."

Whoa.  What?  Needless to say I was a wee bit surprised.  But, we'd been praying that God would lead us, so maybe this is just that?  More information revealed an almost 7 y.o. boy, A, and an almost 5 y.o. girl, B.  Girl!  Not sure we know what to do with those...  Both are currently in a kinship placement (family friend) who has come to the decision that she can't continue to raise them as she's recently gone through a divorce and just can't financially do it anymore.  They've been with her a year almost.  Parental rights are scheduled to be terminated in March, and if that does happen (pretty high percentage it will according to the caseworker) then they will be planning on adoption as the permanency goal.
So we spent a day thinking, praying, and talking about this development.  We already have 4 boys, so that would mean 6 kids all of a sudden.  They are too old to share a room, so we'd have to figure out a bedroom arrangement too.  Our van holds 8, but is getting tight as our kids get larger.  So many questions and things to consider...  We figured we can move the bio kids all into the addition, it's plenty big for that, but does mean sacrificing some personal space for our older two especially, and while they are willing, they're not 100% happy about it, just being honest.  Come to think of it, I'm not 100% happy that my calm and easy life will change either.  But I also know that God hasn't called me to a calm and easy life!  I don't know what exactly is going to change, and that causes some anxiety for me.  I haven't slept really well this week, which is odd for me.  Makes me think of A and B, and how much anxiety and fear this planned move is causing for them.
My emotions through all of this have been interesting.  Last week I was just really excited, and thankful that God was opening my heart up to more kiddos.  This week I'm anxious and nervous.  Not backing out type anxious, but just wondering how things are going to go.  How long will it take until them can relax at our house?  How long will it take us all to adjust to being a family of 8?  Will it work out long term?  I don't know that my family can take another situation like last time.  I'm just praying a lot right now, and I guess that's exactly where God wants me, and all of us right?  Reminds me of the lesson I taught at youth group a couple weeks ago - 2 Chronicles 20:12b "We do not know what to do, but we are looking to you for help."  We've already talked about God's timing and hope to have more to share about how God has increased our family and continues to bless us, but right now just pray that this Friday at 4pm things go ok:)